Family problems

I guess everybody has that one family member that really doesn't seem to want to be there. Mine is my older brother. He's a good man, and a great father. And, when he is around, and can be bothered a wonderful brother.

The problem lies in the fact that his wife and the rest of my family do not get along. We don't act on the fact that we do not find her appealing, we accept the fact that they love each other. I don't want to change that, or have him choose between nuclear family and 'extended' family. However, he has decided to handle the situation by not being involved in the 'extended' family's life. Period.

I've tried calling him. Only got voice mail. So, I leave messages. "Life is good here, hope you and yours are doing well, call me whenever you have some time" ect. I even tried his work email. "life is good here, hope you and yours are doing well, call me ANYTIME day or night" ect. Still no reply. I keep wondering if I should even bother anymore. My mother and sister have given up on him. I believe our grandmother is starting to give up on him as well. I feel like a traitor wanting to stay close to him, but I feel rejected every time I try. And then, of course, I want to cry to my mother about what a "meanie" my big brother is being, and remember that she's given up trying to get him to respond to the family. So, I really can't talk to her about it.

My poor husband, I'm sure, is going insane dealing with this issue. He knows I still have "big brother worship" going on. And it's hurting a lot inside that he's ignoring me. Cowboy wants to "fix" the situation, but how can he? I don't really want him involved. I hate to say it. But, I feel like it's something I need to take care of. But, I don't know how to do that.

I know other people have been through this same situation. How have ya'll handled it?